Doucherock bands part 3 Creed (re-release)


I am bringing back the “Doucherock bands” series as a transplant from another earlier blog of mine.  This series got mentioned on www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com  
Creed
For this re-release I am going to start with Part 3 “Creed”.

I’ve been getting a bit of static about part 2 of the doucherock series (“Disturbed”) but I have to stand by the laws of doucherock (which I am now inventing and posting below) on this one.  If I am at all lacking vigilance in this mission of defending the taste and culture of new music, I would be doing you, the reader a disservice if I did not expose this kind of malarkey where ever it may pronounce its ugly head.


This issue is dedicated to Creed or as I like to refer to them, “More proof god does not exist, set to music”.
Creed is the first major Christian rock band who attained this fame by inconspicuously including the message of Christian faith into their music. Here is their smash douche hit “With arms wide open” from the album “human clay”.


Human Clay by Creed

“Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face”

***He got the news, drank the cool-aid and packed his bags for Jesus town.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open”

***Essentially he is talking about the idolatry of the cross. One of the most self contradicting facets of Christianity seeing as it violates one of the ten commandments.

“Well I don’t know if I’m ready
To be the man I have to be
I’ll take a breath, I’ll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we’ve created life”

***It seems he is talking about getting his woman pregnant now.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I’ll show you love
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I’ll show you everything …oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open”

***The lyrics are a vametous mass that keeps causing me to feel ill the more I read and reflect upon them. One would have to be filled with some kind of profound self delusion (AKA “Christs love”) in order to stomach them.

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open…”

***Yes, we all need to be crucified. Starting with Scott Stapp.

“With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I’ll show you love
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I’ll show you everything..oh yeah
With arms wide open….wide open”

The repetition is off the charts with creed. In every song the use of repetition is compounded and mixed with droning chants and revelations of delusion.
A great example of doucherock and Christian rock gone wrong. If I was the self contradicting uber narcissist fairy tale ego maniac god described in the Bible, I would have incinerated these douchebags long before they could ever write a song or commit it to music making me that much more unpopular with people who have an IQ above 40.

The very usage of the name “Creed” also points out a complete lack of selflessness. While most Christian rock bands use names like “for his honor”, “the glory and power” or “I want to suck Jesus’s penis because he is awesome”, creed stamps themselves the end all be all of faith in one word.  Making no room for doubt that their message is the only message.
As it is with all followers of the major self delusional faiths such as Christianity or Islam.  In many creed songs it sounds as if Stapp is attempting to write Jesus and/or god a very sexual love letter.
Creed has had heavy exposure in every realm of douchebaggery and redneck interests such as WWE and NASCAR as their songs insight a high voltage fist pumping tribute to every WASP’S favorite guy in the sky.
Truly, everything that is wrong with America can be found in the audience at a creed concert.

In early years Creed maintained a very clean cut silk shirt, jeans and boots douche ensemble of dress.
In later years they began trying to emulate disturbed as doucherock fans collect each heavily.

Band members
Scott Stapp– lead vocals, occasional rhythm guitar (1995–2004, 2009–present)
Mark Tremonti– lead and rhythm guitars, backing vocals, bass
Scott Phillips– drums, percussion, keyboards (1995–2004, 2009–present)
Brian Marshall– bass (1995–2000, 2009–present)

For the benefit of clarity here are,
THE LAWS OF DOUCHEROCK

1- THE LYRICS OF DOUCHE: The lyrics of Doucherock contain one or more aspects of the following:
A: Vapid ideas expressed in disjointed or incomplete structure
B: Grunting and fist pump fodder intended to add substance to the music where instrumentation, lyrics and composition are lacking.
C: Urban slang or cultural references outside the cultural experience of the band or it’s members in order to garner more substance.
D: Lyrical devices with no real connection to other ideas or references expressed in the music.
E: Barrowed or otherwise plagiarized lyrics from more talented bands and/or musicians.
2- THE COMPOSITION OF DOUCHE: The composition of doucherock results in one or more of the following.
A: Repetition in lyrical and instrumentation compositions for two or more songs on the same album.
B: Fist pumping segments or intros followed or segued by poor compositions used as filler.
C: Barrowed or otherwise plagiarized compositions from more talented bands and/or musicians.
D: Overly compressed and robotic playing (‘soul less’) of instruments.
3- THE IMAGE OF DOUCHE: Doucherock bands often display and image with many aspects of the following.
A: Cookie cutter tattoos, namely tribal or barbed wire bands, pinwheel stars, six shooters or large gangster wanna-be print across belly, back or chest.
B: Faux Hawk or otherwise emo accented hair containing far too much “product”.
C: Tight t-shirts with cookie cutter graphics printed to ode sides of the garment.
D: The usage of non-douche image whilst engaging in the composition and lyrics of douche (AKA, ‘STEALTH DOUCHEING’).
E: Poorly contrived or otherwise fake image and/or brutish behavior consisting of certain aspects which may include bigotry, sexism, racism or cultural plagiarism.
4- THE FOLLOWERS OF DOCUHE: Fans of docuherock often display one or more of the following aspects or behaviors.
A: THE IMAGE OF DOUCHE
B: Participation in NASCAR and NASCAR events.
C: Ownership of Douche vehicles (Tuned out and pimp douche painted four cylinder cars, SUVs and trucks).
D: Verbal or physical Abuse of women.
E: Use of steroids or other illicit muscle enhancers.
F: Use of Douche drugs (Cocaine or Low grade marijuana).
G: Excessive binge consumption of alcohol.
H: Random rage, roid rage or challenges to fight with others over semantic or brutishly judgmental issues/
I: Homophobia, racism or otherwise infantile social bigotry.

Doucherock bands as examples:

Ink dot boy = The image, lyrics and composition of douche
Disturbed = The composition, lyrics and followers of douche
Dream Theater = The composition, lyrics and followers of douche
Creed= Fist pumping, faith based doucherock

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